If your inner critic has been extra loud lately, you’re in good company.
A study by the National Science Foundation found that we have up to 60,000 thoughts a day, and up to 80% of those are negative. Even more startling? Around 95% of our daily thoughts are repetitive.
Translation: most of us are walking around with a mental loop of criticism, doubt, and fear—and that loop tends to repeat itself. On autopilot.
There’s a reason for this: our brains are wired for survival. They scan for threats, not high-fives. That negativity bias helped us avoid danger thousands of years ago, but today it can undermine our confidence, performance, and wellbeing—especially in leadership.
To lead with clarity and grounded confidence, we need to intentionally rewire our inner dialogue.
So… when was the last time you genuinely appreciated yourself?
Not glossed over a win. Not told yourself “it wasn’t a big deal.” But actually let a moment of pride or celebration land?
That kind of self-acknowledgement isn’t indulgent. It’s essential. The more you practice it, the more your brain learns to recognize your value without needing external validation.
Here are three simple but powerful practices I’ve seen great leaders use to shift their inner narrative:
1. Keep a Hype File
Create a living document that holds your receipts—the real, tangible proof of your brilliance. Drop in screenshots of kind words from a client, texts that made you proud, a voice memo after a big win, or that project you crushed.
Review it weekly. Not as a brag list, but as a reality check when your critic tries to rewrite the story.
2. Schedule a Victory Lap
Set a recurring 10-minute meeting with a trusted friend or colleague. Your only agenda: swap wins.
Ask each other, “How did you crush it this week?” Then celebrate it out loud. No caveats, no self-deprecating add-ons. Just own it.
It’s amazing how quickly this rewires your sense of agency and momentum.
3. Talk to Yourself Like a Legend
It might feel cheesy, but talking to yourself in the third person (“Heather, you handled that hard conversation like a pro today”) can actually boost performance and self-regulation.
Elite athletes do this. Leaders can too.
It creates just enough distance from your inner critic to shift into perspective and encouragement instead.
Final Thought
We can’t always turn down the volume on our inner critic—but we can start speaking louder with our inner champion.
Positive self-talk isn’t fluff. It’s strategy.
And like all strategy, it takes practice.
